Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
