bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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