please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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