Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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