At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
