the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
