So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She told me I should be a condom model.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
