gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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