you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
