shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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