Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
