i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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