he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
