Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
