Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
