Its about making memories worth repressing
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
