fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
