I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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