what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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