He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
