if i can run in heels then i can drive
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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