Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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