if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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