someone get that fucking seahorse.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
