I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
