you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
