He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
