By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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