Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I am one with the molecules
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
