kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
