you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
