that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
