I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
