if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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