Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
