the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
