we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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