yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
