areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
