She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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