A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
