Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
