mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
