Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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