Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize