I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
