Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
