Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
