would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
