Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
