can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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