i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize