So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
