drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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