Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Randomize
