your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My liver just had a heart attack.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
