Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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